Pictures really don't do her justice.
And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the
mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:
1 Kings 19: 11-12
The feeling sneaks up on me sometime before Seth yells from his bedroom "I peeped in my bed," but after Katelin has emptied the entire contents of her preschool bag on the floor (lunchbag, uneaten grapes and carrots, a snowman puppet, extra change of clothes and a prize pinwheel).
I'm scooping carrot-cake batter, mixed by Katelin in anticipation of Lina's pretend first birthday party, into cupcake tins, while Katelin chops real carrots with a butter knife to throw into the cupcakes (her creative side coming out?) Pandora is playing what we call around "quiet" music, an instrumental rendition of a Garth Brook's song - The Dance. Though I can't hear them, the lyrics float through my mind - Looking back, on the memory of, the dance whe shared beneath the stars above.
For a moment I step back to observe the dance that is my life -beyond the toys scattered across the living room floor, the unfolded laundry in the dryer, the sleeping baby who refuses to take her pacifier, the imminent phone call from Trevor telling me he'll be later than usual, and something about the dance feels just right. I love this dance - with all of it's doctor's appointments, and sticky fingers, and bubbles filling up the bathroom sink. I love the five year old cutting carrots - happily planning a birthday party. I love the two year tucked up in his nap and the baby swaddled in the back room. I love the husband who will call to let me know when he is late and I even love the girl who is scooping cupcakes.
The moment fills me up, and though the night will bring a frantic dinner, and whiny kids begging to stay up longer, and a baby who still won't take that pacifier at bedtime, it will be enough to remember what it feels like sometimes when you are pouring cupcake batter.