Friday, November 12, 2010

Born Screaming

Lina, a few moments after she was born (six months ago)

Lina was born screaming. She was pink and plump and mad. Really mad!

Celebrating Lina's birth the day we brought her home from the hospital

The first weeks after she was born there was more screaming. And six months later, it isn't a whole lot different. There is still screaming. Not fussing or grunting or complaining. Mostly screaming - when her diaper is dirty, or her arm is flailing or she is strapped in her car seat or her stomach hurts. Screaming, screaming, screaming.

And for the mother, well, that is sort of stressful.

After Mom & Lina came home from sacrament meeting, 2 weeks old (I think)

But then there are the other moments. Today Lina had to wait for me a few extra minutes. She sat in her high chair working herself into near-hysterics. After what felt like twenty minutes, but was probably actually two, I pulled her from the high chair and placed her on my hip. I felt her hiccuppy crying slow down as I held her chubby legs against mine. We went to the mirror. Unable to resist her own reflection, she stopped crying long enough to give up a little grin.

I walked her to bedroom and wrapped her tight, pinning her arms down, so she won't roll over and wake up screaming, yet again. I wrapped her a second time, this time in her SwaddleMe to be extra sure, then I placed her on the bed and lay down beside her.

She resisted sleep, spitting out her pacifier and looking back and forth over and over, but with some patience on my part, she began to give in. Her breathing slowed. I felt her small body beside me and kissed curls on her forehead. I couldn't help but stroke her soft cheek and close my eyes as I listened to the ocean waves cd we play in her room during naps. Then I stared in awe at this little person - her plump cheeks and perfect little nose, her long lashes and dark brows, her lips, still sucking, even though the pacifier has fallen out of her mouth. Still so new and perfect, but growing and changing and becoming. Yes, she screams... but she also smiles and observes and rolls and eats and changes every day.

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