I spent a good portion of this summer wondering if I should send Katelin to kindergarten. Most of her preschool friends would be starting school, she was "reading" on occassion and obviously excited and ready for more learning, but inside I felt a huge sense of hesitation.
I couldn't explain it. How do you explain a feeling? I could explain that I dreaded signing her up for a full-time job at five years old (kindergarten is full day here). I could explain that I wasn't ready to fight her to wake up every morning at 6:oo a.m. And I could explain many other small reasons we might consider keeping her home, but none of these were the actual reason.
Each time I decided kindergarten was the best option, I would immediately feel unsettled, confused, and frustrated. I finally admitted to myself, no matter the reason, I couldn't move forward when I felt so uncertain. And so the first day of school came and went, and our life stayed the same.
Once I had made the decision, I felt like I'd been given a gift. Another year with my little girl. The first few weeks of school looked something like this:
Hours of playing airplane (riding in one, not flying)
Prepping for a puppet show
Noticing trees, and birds, and bugs, and slugs...
Burying treasures in the sand
There is no way to measure what Katelin is gaining from being at home with us, but somehow, I don't feel bad that she is here playing and helping me and doing projects and going outside instead of sitting in a classroom.