life simplified

What's for Dinner...

2012-01-12T14:46:00.000-08:00

Trevor snapped this at Barnes and Noble. Should we be worried?

A year ago...

2012-01-07T10:56:00.000-08:00

This page is really in need of an update, so here is something, just so I have something new to look at -my kids, one year ago. At the end of 2011, I don't look back and see any monumental accomplishments or goals I have achieved, but I must have done something because, look at the change in my kids. Hope you are all enjoying the new year. Maybe I'll start blogging again sometime.

A year ago, she was barely crawling, learning pat-a-cake and winning us over with her smiles. Now she is running, digging, begging for candy, and talking nonstop.

A year ago, Katelin had just started at a new preschool, and loved it. Now she is reading constantly and writing full-blown stories.

I love this picture of Seth. In some ways, he is exactly the same, but his speaking has evolved so much. He knows the alphabet, he is climbing higher and jumping farther at the playground, and in many ways, he isn't quite the little baby he was a year ago.

#485 - Katelin calls her nose a sniffer

2011-11-23T12:49:00.000-08:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

Feeling pretty thankful for these people

"Extraordinary moments often masquerade as ordinary life."

Dr. Laura Markham

I keep trying to find words to express how I grateful I am for today. For this day that promised to be too much -- too much grocery shopping, too much baking, too much laundry, too much packing.

What it has proved to be is me recruiting my kids to gather acorns, lots of acorns, in front of Old Navy. It is me laughing out loud when Katelin said, "My sniffer isn't doing to good." It is the kids putting Christmas presents together, then fighting, but then playing in the mud in my rugged back yard. And something about all of this wells up in me until I can't help but feel overcome with how blessed I am.

Tomorrow, there is much to give thanks for here.

A fall tradition

2011-11-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, Trevor and the kids made our annual visit to Sweet Berry Farm for all of their fall activities. I was out of town celebrating a friend's birthday and missed out on all of the fun.

Seth's highlight is always riding the horses. Takes after Grandpa I guess...

While Seth is so comfortable on a horse, Katelin is a little more timid. I love how she's holding tight in this shot.

Of course, feeding the horses is fun too.

Katelin's highlight is cutting flowers. She is so thoughtful about putting her bouquet together.

For now, Lina is just happy to be along for the ride.

Seth enjoys cutting some flowers, too... In his police hat of course.

I missed going along this year... driving a little over an hour out of Austin to where the world is a little bit quieter is good for a person...

# 432 - Six year old giggles

2011-11-15T11:29:00.000-08:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

A little girl on a swing is enough to remind me.

Life is sooo very good.

Chock full of surprises and laughter and joy...

Stuff that is easy to miss if you don't slow down and take note.

I love/hate Halloween

2011-11-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

Except for Halloween carnivals, gory Halloween decor and celebrations that start two weeks before the actual holiday, I really do enjoy Halloween. Who doesn't love to see cute kids in cute costumes roaming the streets after dark? Well, I sure do. I also love visiting the neighbors we love, and the neighbors we haven't ever met and winning them over with my adorable kids. Here is this years line-up.

First-up - Mermaid Katelin. We doctored her 2nd hand mermaid costume with an old leotard. Much more comfy than the original top and cute to boot.

Pirate Seth was hard to pin down. He never stops moving for a picture. His costume was fashioned from a woman's white blouse, a brown woman's sleeveless shirt, and some red fabric. I did a lot of cutting to pull this together, but he was pleased.

Finally we have bunny rabbit Lina. Someone gave us this little costume which Katelin likes to wear on occasion. Here Lina is showing us how you can do yoga in this costume, because it is so comfy.

And finally the whole crew, with Grandma (my mom), who flew in for the Halloween festivities. Don't mind the pirate dance... he is just celebrating all of his pirate loot.

Two months later...

2011-10-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

In the Book of Mormon the prophet Jacob writes, "our lives passed away as it were like unto us a dream." For some reason, that resonates with me. Life slips away so quickly. Katelin started kindergarten... two months ago. What happened to those two months? What happened to the last six years? It has just slipped quietly by, and I have barely had time to notice and acknowledge the passing. So today, I'm stopping to try and recapture that first day of kindergarten.

Due to some timing issues with our house, we were five days away from moving when Katelin started kinder. Yes, this is not what child psychologists would advise, but life isn't always perfect.

For the first five days of school, Katelin left around 6:45am to commute to school (literally) and arrive in time for the 7:45 morning meeting. This meant breakfast was usually eaten in the car (see it packed and ready to go on the counter).

I drove Katelin to school that first morning. Here she is pretending to look traumatized.

This picture more accurately portrays how she felt. Anxious, excited and ready for something new.

Rain... finally

2011-10-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

A couple of weekends ago, we finally saw some rain. My kids were giddy.

Two weeks later, the grass is greener, the trees are taller, flowers are in bloom. It is amazing what one rainstorm can do.

It's strange, I have lots of memories of adults talking about drought conditions as a kid, but I have never seen a drought like this one. Or maybe I just see drought differently through adult eyes.

I'm just hoping we can break out the rainboots again, really soon.

Hello Fall!

2011-10-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

Pot of Gourds...

For a long time I haven't done much by way of holiday decor, but for some reason, this year, I've had the itch to bring a little bit of fall to our house. Maybe it is because we don't really have much of a fall here in Austin, and it really is my favorite season. Sigh.

Anyway, this morning I finally finished my fall arrangement (inspiration here, thanks Martha) and I'm hoping it will make up for our dead grass and dismal yard. This is how I put this beauty together for seven dollars.

Spray painted the old pot that was left on my front porch when we moved in. (Pot - free / Spray paint - free from another project)
Filled pot with potting soil (potting soil leftovers - free)
Used a fall garland to wrap around and underneath the pumpkins (Garland - $2 at Goodwill)
Piled gourds and pumpkins on top ($5 at Sprouts)

It's not exactly Martha's version, but I'm happy with it and it has put me in a pretty good mood. Or maybe I'm just happy because I am flying towards fall weather tomorrow. Whatever the reason, I hope you are enjoying your fall, wherever you are.

Gearing up...

2011-10-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

We've been practicing. My kids have loads of dress-ups; so many that I only allow about 1/3 of them to be out at a time, but they sure do enjoy trying out all of those roles.

I have been put in jail many times.

Lina is catching on to the cowboy/girl thing...

That is one scary gorilla.

And how about a little bunny rabbit? Most of these costumes will stay home on Halloween night. We are just warming up.

#384 - Park Days

2011-10-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

In the chaos of moving, my listing notebook went into a box and my counting project went on hold. I got out of the habit of counting and found myself in the mire of unsettled kids, unopened boxes, and too much frustration. This isn't a good place to be...

I finally cracked open the book a couple of weeks ago. I am slowly remembering, once again, to notice the giggles... the breeze... the taste of a beautiful meal. It feels so good to breathe all of the goodness in. Counting is refreshing, and nothing reminds me of how blessed I am like a trip to the park. Simple, beautiful, joyful. Doesn't get a lot better than this.

Lina loves her some swinging... "Weee. weee. weee," she calls and never wants to get out.

Apparently I love pushing Lina in the swing just as much.

One little boy + one pirate patch = happiness.

Sisters. They may be five years apart, but Katelin already calls Lina her best friend.

Just a glimpse of a toothless freckle face.

One of the many faces of Lina.

Sisterly care. Katelin helps Seth put that patch back on his face.

Stink eye. Lina's got it.

And that, my friends, is how to spend the morning before general conference. Happy Friday!

In the 'hood

2011-10-05T12:09:00.001-07:00

An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.

Henry David Thoreau

Our mornings usually begin with some sightseeing around the neighborhood. Now that we are in South Austin, the slogan Keep Austin Weird has a new layer of meaning for me. I think you will see what I mean.

We start with some normal stuff... decorative numbers.

And some Longhorn spirit.

Hook 'em horns.

We then move on to the Texas Pride.

We are the lone star state...

And proud of it.

This is what Sethie calls, "The Pirate House..." Nothing too weird so far.

Then we have the barred and locked windows. My neighbors are apparently concerned for their safety. And wow, what do you think of that house color?

Now we see the mailboxes. This one, was by far the worst.

My kids love this one.

And this is probably the first purple mailbox, I've ever seen...

Only, right after I snapped that photo, I saw another purple mailbox down the street.

Apparently this family really likes purple.

But why stop with wild colors. Let's just paint flowers on the siding.

Or a tree?

Now on to the religious. We see a handful of these beauties every morning.

Apparently this saint or monk is on equal standing with the family dog.

And if you look really close here you will figure out exactly who Jesus loves.

Finally we have the animal yard art. First up, a "spooky owl" according to Seth.

Next we have the dragon.

A dinosaur and cow.

A plush tiger to guard your door?

Or a little purple coyote.

The best sightseeing of all is watching these two and listening to their endless chatter.

And nothing feels quite as good as landing on your own front doorstep. Yes, life is good.

Good Enough

2011-10-04T11:57:00.000-07:00

Things are definitely not perfect around here

Today, like many days, has not gone as planned. I had hoped to clean the house by mid-morning; I haven't even started. I needed to book some plane tickets; oops, running into a problem with that. I hoped to pick up black paper to work on a little Halloween decor with the kids; it's just not happening.

Sometimes that would bother me. I'm a perfectionist, as Katelin reminds me every time I comb her hair. I want things to be just right. Toys in order. The day planned and executed. The meals nutritious. The kids happily playing. Wouldn't we all like that kind of perfection?

That just isn't life.

I'm trading in my perfect ideals for good enough. Nobody really cares. I'm going to let the boxes stay boxed up in the garage, let the girl's hair run free and wild, let the TV blare sometimes so I can just have a few minutes to myself. I'm letting myself off the hook.

Of course, I'll keep doing my best. It won't be perfect.

But it will be good enough.

Just because...

2011-10-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

A day at the park

Eyelashes that need to be documented

My baby is growing into a little person...

Changes

2011-09-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

We've moved. It's been awhile, but I am only now starting to feel like I'm a little bit in the swing of things. In spite of changes, some things stay the same.

Every morning, my kids wave goodbye as Daddy drives away to work. And then they wave again and again as he circles back on his motorcycle to blow them one last kiss or give one last high five. We're usually on a walk when this happens and for the ten minutes after Trevor finally leaves, Lina yells, "Dad," every thirty seconds, totally expecting him to circle back one more time.

***

Seth continues to surprise me. This is usually how it goes. I say, "Why don't we get your pajamas on?"

He whispers, "Go away. I want to surprise you."

Playing dumb I say, "Seth, I've got to do something, but I will be back to help you with your pajamas in two minutes."

I leave and reappear a few minutes later to find Seth grinning from ear with his pajamas on. "Surprise," he yells. He does not seemed bothered at all that this was not really a surprise at all.

***

Though Katelin now has her own room, she still has an incredible gift at dragging out bedtime. She knows just when to be cute and sweet to get you to tickle her back for a few extra minutes or just when to put up resistance (right when you are about to leave and really don't want a melt down). She is definitely gifted in this area.

***

It's nice to know that in spite of all the changes, there are some things you can always count on.

Missing Summer Days...

2011-08-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

What happened to summer? To my big plans for projects and day trips and lunches with friends? Have we already eaten ALL of those popsicles? Visited all of those relatives? Mastered swimming lessons and splash parks and complained of the heat? Is it really over?

Yes, but we had some good days.

Slow days... just waiting around.

We had some fun surprises.

We tried new things. We drank lemonade. We got our feet wet.

This day was one of those. Running through sprinklers in Tracy's backyard. Thank goodness we took time to do that... and a few other things, because summer is officially over.

Hello school year. Hello kindergarten.

Our next house...

2011-08-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

A few big changes are rolling out around here... We're moving, Katelin is starting kindergarten, and Trevor has a new job. Actually Trevor has the same job, but he is now a real full-time employee (with benefits - hooray) rather than a contractor. We will be moving into this little house (forgive the grainy picture... it's the best I've got). The grass is not actually green, considering our heat wave this summer, but otherwise, it's a nice little place and we are happy to have our own grass and yard and Trevor working just five miles away from us. We are also happy that we can still consider ourselves Austinites.

#283 - Sprinkler Sprays

2011-08-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

I'd do just about anything to get a glimpse of this little boy smile...

home haiku

2011-07-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

spent twelve days at home

finally we return here

another loved place

Heading North

2011-07-11T14:41:00.000-07:00

Logan Canyon Summer 2010

It's that time of year again. For better or for worse we are going to drag our three children out of bed at 4:00a.m. to catch a flight. We will drug them with endless movies and treats. We will let them stay up late to run with cousins, sit with Grandma, and ride Grandpa's horses. Trevor and I will reminisce as we drive past Old Main hill and through Logan canyon. Naptimes will be skipped. Bedtimes will be ignored. Dessert will be eaten. For better or for worse, we WILL have fun. Excuse the sporadic posts while we are away.

Brothers

2011-07-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

Post-Swimming Lesson Hug

After two weeks of swimming lessons, my kids smell like summer.... a mix of sunscreen, chlorine, dirt and popsicles, even when they are fresh out of the tub.

Katelin is swimming on her own. Seth sometimes puts his face in the water... but usually when the instructors aren't watching.

This is probably the last time they will be in the same class of anything for a long, long time. I love that they are best friends, constant playmates, bitter rivals (at times) and that they love each other. Once I had a little brother like that....

He even let me dress him up as a sister on occasion...

Simple Toys

2011-07-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

Never underestimate the power of a cardboard box...

... or a toy bin.

For some reason, the bin is more fun than the toys inside.

Sounds Around the House

2011-07-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

This is what I'm listening to at my house -

Lina tickling me. "Tahkah tahkah tahkah."

Katelin explaining the value of making slippers out of paper towels (if you want them to come off, you just run, in case you were wondering).

Seth's sound effects while playing farm - this includes a lot of yelling and growling.

What do you hear at your house?

#251 - Punching Bread Dough

2011-07-04T12:42:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

Moments come and go.

Today I pile dirty clothes – whites, darks, lights. Fold. Feed hungry mouths. Wish my sister-in-law a happy belated birthday.

I fold more.

Dishes pile until I store clean plates, bowls, and glasses. Plates, bowls and glasses that will be dirtied in a few hours.

Kids need attention. We decorate, hanging streamers, red and blue. We listen to “America the Beautiful” and other music. It is, after all, the 4^th of July.

Seth says, “It’s American’s birthday,” jumping from the couch over and over and over until it is lunchtime. I throw food on the table. Yesterday’s rejects. Hungry again, we eat, then clear dishes.

Kids need more attention.

I break out water colors and they paint stars while I mix flour, yeast, salt and water into smooth stretchy dough. Stars are soon abandoned as small hands come to help me knead and punch.

They delight in it.

I pause, noticing bright eyes and smiles, and I remember to count the moments of this ordinary day. I want them to pile up, like my laundry and dishes, but each one is gone in an instant. All I can do is receive each one. I close eyes and silently thank, then back to rolling, and pulling and punching dough.

Only now, I delight in it too.

Cousins

2011-06-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

I say we have a girl house. Lots of pinks, dolls, and quiet activities. Seth throws us for a loop with his dinosaur growling and not-so-pretend play fighting, but still, we have kind of a girl house. So what happens when my sister-in-law shows up with three little boys?

Some hugging (which will soon lead to wrestling)

Some dirt-eating

Some trucking

Some digging

Overall, just a whole lot of playing

At the end of two days of going to the pool, the splash pad, and the dinosaur dig, I found the crew curled up while Katelin read a book. Yes, boys like reading too.

Aunt Julie, thanks for bringing us a car load of fun. When are you coming back?

Simple Birthdays?

2011-06-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

Katelin's stilt dreams come true...

I love making my kids feel special on their birthdays, but it is easy for things too get carried away. Sometimes all of the partying, gifts, and crazy schedules can be too much leading to overstimulated, overtired, over-cranky and over-possessive kids. There is a fine line between feel special and being ultra-spoiled. This is what I'm learning as I try to keep birthdays simpler.

Just a few birthday presents go a long way.
Craigslist helps you meet birthday wishes without wasting $40 on a pair of stilts (or something else) that will rarely be used.
Limit your birthday party guest list (this is hard for me). The "experts" suggest one child per birthday candle.
We have a friend birthday party only every other year. On the off years, we do something fun as a family (these are my favorites).

Last week as our whole week was spent prepping for Katelin's party, she started turning a little Birthday Girl-Zilla on me... Simple requests turned into demands followed by the phrase, "It is my birthday."

We finally had to have a little chat; she took it well and corrected her behavior quickly (she is, after all, a great kid). In the midst of all of the party planning, I think she started feeling, and acting, a little Diva-ish.

So I am asking, how do you keep birthdays simple? Pretty sure I could use a little help in that department.

A Mermaid / Pirate Party at Sea

2011-06-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

Katelin has been planning her sixth birthday party for months. She chose a theme last fall (and actually stuck with it) and after waiting all month long, the day finally arrived.

My own little mermaid

A not so scary pirate

The kids colored treasure maps.

And made pirate ships and mermaids

Lina waited patiently in the stroller

Then we raced. Pirates vs. Mermaids. Kids could only get their boat across by blowing or pushing it with their noses.

Later on, everyone had a chance to walk the plank.

And we had a special visit from a mermaid (who sent everyone diving for treasure).

Finally, the pirate ship arrived. It took a beating, but I think everyone enjoyed it.

Then we went for food: fishy crackers, a pirate ship filled with watermelon cannons, and cupcakes. We finished things off with a treasure hunt (sorry no pictures).

I'm pretty sure Katelin was in birthday heaven.

#230 - Lina discovers sprinklers

2011-06-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

Lina isn't one of those babies who is afraid to get her feet wet...

Or her hands or arms or face for that matter.

Maybe her fearlessness comes from watching big brother and sister.

Or maybe that's just Lina. Either way, we love every wet little bit of her.

Simple Meal Planning

2011-06-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

BLT Salad - Yum!

Planning, shopping for and preparing meals isn't exactly my strength; I guess I'm better at eating the food. Anyway, I've been working on simplifying the whole process. I started to categorize all of the meals we normally eat, then considered our weekly schedule and then I came up with this little plan.

Monday - Pasta Night - Because it's easy leaving time for Family Night.
Tuesday - Mexican - We love guacamole.

Wednesday - Scrounge - Find whatever is left and eat it

Thursday - Salad - The idea is to eat the lettuce the day I buy it, before it goes bad.

Friday - On the Grill - The night Trevor will cook for me.

Saturday - Easy Peasy Meals -If it isn't easy, it's too easy to eat out.

Sunday - Chicken or Fish - This is the one day we gear our meals towards the adults, while the kids might eat crackers, cheese, and bits of fruits and veggies.

I've been using this as my meal planning guide for a month or two. It really is easier. We don't always stick to the plan, but, at least we have one to start with (most of the time).

#221 - Boring Old Mondays

2011-06-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

Lina rides the Cedar Rock Train

I love the boredom of Mondays. Laundry. Straightening things up a bit. Forts out of couch cushions. Cowboy boot footprints in play dough. Homemade postcards. Sibling scuffles. Time to read e-mails. I think you get the point.

Today it is just me and my three.

I'm liking it.

#139 - Trevor & his Motorcycle

2011-06-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

How I love my boys!

In November, Trevor got a motorcycle for his birthday. I can't say I actually purchased it myself; you can't purchase a guy's motorcycle without his input, but I was the driving force behind it.

It's been interesting to watch people react to this -

"Soooo.... Trevor has a motorcycle???" (Imagine shock and alarm)

"He has a motorcycle? He just doesn't seem like the type."

"You let him have a motorcycle? I would never..."

And yes, I let Trevor have a motorcycle.... because he promises to drive safe, because it saves some gas money, but mostly, because it makes him happy. I didn't really get it, until, I went for a spin with him shortly after he purchased it. Suddenly free of the metal box I call a car, I stopped worrying about where we were going and enjoyed the ride --the wind whooshing past, the smell of tacos coming from somewhere (but where - because I really want one), the glass-like surface of a lake as we drive past, and the cars and drivers and passengers - all travelling on their own little journeys. It is so freeing...

So every morning, as three kids and I wave goodbye from the garage as Trevor heads off to work, I know that while he will miss out on our pool visits and park trips, while he won't catch Lina grinning after mastering a jar lid, and while the day might bring him any number of stresses - he will probably come home smiling.

It's thirty minutes I can "give" every morning and evening to the guy who gives pretty much everything else to me. Thanks Trev... and Happy Father's Day!

Getting ready for work.

Simple Grocery Shopping

2011-06-15T10:54:00.000-07:00

my grocery planner

Every Thursday I go grocery shopping. Last week, I made the attempt to complete this weekly chore with three kids in tow (with preschool is out, it is my only option). Bribes were promised, lists were made, and away we went. To my delight and surprise, we were in and out of Walmart within 35 minutes. This wouldn't have been possible a few months ago, but I've done a few things to streamline the process and make grocery shopping a little bit simpler. These ideas aren't new, but they help.

First, I made a grocery planner (here). I post it on the fridge each week and as we notice something we need to pick up at the grocery store, we add it to the list. The planner is organized in the order I shop in the grocery store to help me get through as quickly as possible. There is room for the weekly menu to be listed at the bottom of the page, and as I plan weekly meals, I add the ingredients to my grocery planner (in the appropriate category). This one little tool has saved me hours of time.

Then I made another time saver, grocery lists for my kids (here). The kids circle the healthy food they want, which helps them to feel like I bought something they wanted, and when they start begging for something I don't want to buy, I usually respond, "Is it on the list?" It usually curbs the whining a little bit.

Finally, I made a commitment to only go to the grocery store once a week. I rarely stop back in for milk or some odd or end. If we forgot something, it goes on the list. You would be surprised what you can live without for a few days. Once I did this, I discovered that I no longer live at the grocery store. This saves time and money... Less time shopping means more time at the pool. With this heat, we need it.

I promise Lina's within arm's reach..

Sunscreen pomade...

How to Kill an Afternoon

2011-06-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

When 4:00pm hits, no dinner is in sight, and there are three unruly little people running amuck in the house, it is time for an intervention.

The intervention has to be irresistible, which means, it will probably be messy...

But the mess is worth it, when it gives the kids a chance to tap into their creative side, and leaves me an hour of peace and quiet, just enough time to pull a meal together and maybe scrub the chocolate hand prints off of the wall.

Not something I am willing to do every day, but sometimes it can save my afternoon.

Here are a few tips if you think you'd like to try this with your own little rapscallions -

It might be good to forewarn participants that shaving cream should not be imbibed at any point in time.
It's a good idea to do this activity a few moments before bathtime... or just before you are planning to shave your child's head.
Following this activity - you might find shaving cream on the floor, inside of a random toy, behind the baby's ear, and in any number of other random locations.
Also note - cookie sheets involved in this experiment will smell freshly shaven, and may transfer that lovely aroma to future cookies you will bake on them.

#183 - Kids Counting Fingers and other things I love

2011-06-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

# 184 - Katelin's freckles

Katelin is my big girl. Four lost teeth and a sixth birthday in just twelve more days remind me that the early years for her are pretty much gone. Today she swam with her face under water, grated cheese for her salad (yes, salad!), and bathed herself, all without my assistance. She is my constant reminder that one day, these days of feeding, bathing, and potty-training will come to an end. She is also my right-hand man, my conversationalist, and "the" big sister.

***

In the morning, I catch Katelin sitting on the couch with Seth at her side, hands in front of her as she pointed to each finger - "This is pinkie, then ring finger, tall man, pointer and thumb. Can you repeat them back to me?"

***

Seth is struggling a bit with swimming lessons. For some reason the hole pumping water on the side of the pool is a whole lot more interesting to him than laying on his back in the arms of a strange teenage girl he doesn't know. Go figure.

One morning the instructors try to to coax him into the water, Katelin comes to him, grabs his hand and says, "Come on, Seth, you can do it." I watch and silently cheer for both of them.

***

"I wish I was still a baby," Katelin tells me one afternoon, "with cute little curls like Lina's." I want to tell her that sometimes, I wish she was still a little baby, but instead I sympathize, "Sometimes it's hard to be the oldest, but sometimes it's great."

***

On the morning of preschool graduation, I overhear Katelin in the bathroom, talking to herself, "I'm just not ready for this," she says. The truth is, I know she is ready, and I think that I just might be ready too.

#78 - Five year old pride, grinning from ear to ear

Living For Today

2011-06-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

Living in the Moment

Not too long I ago, I discovered TED, and I'm a little bit addicted. I love listening to twenty minutes of someone talk about design or life or technology. It pulls me out of the world of stress over swimming lessons, and hydrating everyone, and teaching your children that, no, it isn't nice to put that bug net on top of the baby's head. I like my world, but it is nice to be a part of the big conversations that are going on outside of my small reality.

I listened to one such conversation a couple of days ago, and I'm still thinking about it. Steve Jobs, the CEO (and creative genius) behind Apple gave a commencement address (here), and I listened, riveted.

Since then, I keep thinking about the direction of my life. Am I following my gut and taking the risks I need to take for growth and greater happiness? Am I trusting my instincts to take me where I need to go? Am I trusting that, sometime in the future, I will look back and see how everything worked out?

All of these questions are swirling in my mind, but maybe the biggest question is one Jobs says he asks every morning - If I were going to die today, would I still do what I am about to do?

You can't ask these questions without realizing that, in one way or another, you've got to do a little better. It reminds me of a favorite quote.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson

I know I can live a little better. I want to live every day with joy, and to know, that if today was my last, that would be okay.

Just a Photo

2011-06-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

Oh that they always played this way...

#149 - Learning to Cut a Mango

2011-06-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

I love mangos - their flavor, bright colors, and texture, but I love them even more when they are cut and presented in a beautiful way. After several years of struggling with exactly how to cut a mango (that pit is hard to work around), I turned to Youtube. What do you think about the result?

Maybe even better than the mango and the presentation of it is the delight of learning something new. All along I thought I was doing okay with mangos and then... Surprise: a whole new way to deal with this yummy fruit. My mango salsa will never be the same.

***

If you'd like to learn too, you are just one click away.

Cracks and snacks and shacks and shnacks

2011-06-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

I love Doctor Seuss. So do my kids.

They also like cracks and snacks...

Yummy....

This is how Katelin makes sure she won't burn herself while making toast - princess dress up gloves and salad servers. Whatever.

******

On another note, I thought it was probably time to update my profile, so you now see a new schnazzy photo posted on the right side of your screen. You can even read more about this little blog if you click here (or on my picture).... if you're interested.

Summer Struggles

2011-06-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

Katelin and Seth finished up preschool last week. The temperature is supposed to reach 100 degrees today. We've already been to the splash parks and the pool a few times. Yes, summer has arrived, but I'm not really ready for it.

I had such good plans of working out the perfect summer schedule, creating a great system to get the kids to help with cleaning up around the house, and making a nice bucket list of all of the fun things we would do during these next few months. I have started on all of those plans, but most of them are only half-baked.

Honestly, after a four-day week with the kids home all day, every day, I'm climbing the walls. My house is littered with toys and papers, my fridge is empty, my kids are whiney and I am frustrated. As is often the case, I'm finding my hopes and dreams for this summer aren't really meeting up with my reality... but, I think that is okay.

Just because things aren't perfect, doesn't mean they can't be good, or even excellent. So forget the cluttered house and the lack of food in the house, we are going to have a good day. It is summer, and this summer I intend to grill in our backyard on Fridays.

We will eat good healthy food.

We will run around in the back yard.

We will sit at the picnic table and eat our dinner.

And we will ENJOY it!

Even if there is some fussing and screaming along the way!

Sand and more sand

2011-06-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

Last week's adventure helped us to get our toes in the sand...

lots...

and lots...

And lots of sand.

"Cooking" in the microwave proved to be a highlight of the trip... One of the main attractions of Corpus Christi.
Anybody up for a nuked goldfish cracker?

But we spent most of our time on the beach,

and even spent a few days roughing it on at North Padre National Seashore.

The seashore provided endless entertainment,

even for Lina.

Working on her sea legs..

Discovering mud. (Lots of it in her mouth too).

She was a happy little camper.

And did her part to help us load up and bring some of the that seashore sand home with us.

At North Padre there were lots of crabs and seaweed and shells and more...

By the time we were done, everyone was tired, sandy, and ready to go home.

Counting Moments

2011-05-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

#73 - Greeting Seth at the Bus

Inspired by this book, I recently made a goal to count one thousand gifts in my life. I'll be sharing some of my list and insights with you as I go along this little journey.

I've been listing. Working hard to pay attention to the gifts in my life. When I'm noticing, it is easy to fill a page (or more) in my notebook with the things that make me happy each day. Yesterday I reached 100. Only nine hundred more gifts to notice. Nine hundred moments. Nine hundred surprises. Nine hundred chances to be grateful for all that He gives. Counting makes me feel small, the way you feel when you lay on your back and stare at starry night sky. Or when you stand at the peak of a mountain. Or when you stand on a beach and take in the expanse of the ocean... It feels so good.

And speaking of oceans... we decided a while back to take a trip, but not to make plans as to where we were going. Last night, Trevor and I sat down and looked at a map (a real tangible map) and decided which direction to travel. Then we booked a tonight's hotel and today we are headed off. We know where we are going today, but after that, anything could happen. We will take things one day at a time, focusing on enjoying the moment, and end up wherever we end up. I will let you know what happens!

Rainy Days

2011-05-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

Until last week, we hadn't had much rain all spring...

So when we saw these, our morning plans changed.

It started a with a little bit of this...

Later there were rocks...

And some grunts...

Kerrrplunk.

Lina enjoyed watching, but would have NOTHING to do with an umbrella.

I'd say a perfect morning. Happy Splashing!

Speaking of Birthdays

2011-05-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

With Lina's birthday behind us, Katelin has started a little wishlist as her turn in the Birthday spotlight is right around the corner.

This is what she consistently wishes for:

stilts
a pogo stick
a violin (and lessons to go with them)
a dog

She's also hoping for a fancy six-year-old friend party. Me, I prefer to party family style... For Lina's day we headed to the pool.

Do you think she liked it?

Later she opened gifts... a new dress.

Add a little cake and balloons and I call that a day!

P.S. I've been counting gifts I'm on #64... I'll share more soon.

My littlest bean

2011-05-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

Has it really already been a year? Happy Birthday Lina-Bean.

Something I love -

2011-05-11T19:25:00.000-07:00

Sleeping kids!!

Sleep tight.

Sometimes the floor is just better.

Simple Gratitude

2011-05-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

#1 - Katelin swinging, hair sweeping the ground below

I think we all have them. Moments when joy just kind of creeps in, overtaking your entire existence. You feel it in your toes, your gut, your face. You walk lighter. Breathe deeper. Notice more. These are the moments that make life.

But you can't have those moments when you are wanting. It's the wanting that gets you, eroding your happiness and robbing you of those moments. The problem is that there are just so many things to want - more money, more time, a big house in the suburbs, kids, the perfect guy or girl, a better job, a job at all, the luxury of staying home with the kids, just one day away from the kids. We want that new book, a new haircut, a cleaner house, a simpler life. The truth is that it is so easy, and so natural to want.

I think there is a better way. A way to capture the moments that are around us - just waiting to be noticed... appreciated. It isn't as natural - but it is powerful - to stop wanting, and start enjoying and appreciating what you do have. To count -to quote a favorite hymn- your blessings.

I just finished reading the book One Thousand Gifts, which chronicles what happens when one woman takes the dare to start listing one thousand gifts in her life. The book was interesting (if a bit long and wordy), and I've been thinking that maybe this counting, this expression of gratitude for the good things in our lives is exactly what living a simple life is about - enjoying the extraordinary things that come along in our ordinary lives. To take notice of the daily miracles.

When you are busy noticing, there isn't time for wanting more, and when you notice how much you have, wanting more seems silly anyway. I am ready to be busy noticing, experiencing and rejoicing. If you are too, join me. Take the dare - and count with me - to one thousand.

#2 - Orange cantaloupe, cut into bits for breakfast

Think Win Win Mothering

2011-04-28T08:23:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently shared with me her struggle with sleep training. After four days Baby's score was FOUR, Mom's score - ZERO. I well remember those days. As a new Mom I spent hours trying to figure out (and control) Katelin's sleep schedule. We all struggled through those first few months. There was so much screaming, soothing, rocking and more screaming. In the midst of this, we moved across the country -- away from the helping arms of family (who gave us a rest from the screaming once in a while). Through it all, I tried to control. I tried to win.

The problem is, when your kids lose, it is impossible for you to win - in the long run. Katelin and I often have little battles. I should know better, but I just forget. These battles begin when I say, "Katelin will you _________? "(Fill in with any small random task). Sometimes she complies, but often the simple request is met with strong words. Fighting words. In my weakest moments, I engage and the battle begins. In the end, I may get Katelin to comply with my request, and I might feel like chalking this up as win. But the reality is that I've actually lost. I can't really count it as a win, unless I have figured out a way to get my five-year-old to work with me happily. Without a win, more battles, and therefore more chaos, will follow.

Even without the battles, motherhood is chaotic. It is a baby refusing to sleep - but melting down in tears from the exhaustion, a three year old drawing circles with marker on your carpet (even though he should know better), a five-year old angry because you still haven't played Go Fish with her, and in the midst of all of this, sometimes it feels like your kids really are out to get you. It feels like they are purposely trying to make your life miserable. Like they are trying to win...but they aren't.

They are just being kids. They're just learning. Turns out, the baby is teething and she is in a lot of pain. The three year old is just fixated with writing and takes any chance he can get to practice (good preparation for school, right?). The five year old is feeling ignored and needs just five minutes of your attention. In this situation the only way to win is to do the best you can to help them. You give the baby tylenol, a teething ring and hold her as much as you can. You give the boy some paper, some washable crayons and then you show him how to draw a stick figure. You sit down, with baby in arms, and attempt a game of Go Fish.

At the end of the day, you probably won't have your laundry done, your baby may still not have had a nap, you might be eating crackers, cheese and grapes for dinner, but everyone will have won.

And if it still feels like you've lost, at least you've all lost together.

A little boredom isn't a bad thing...

2011-04-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

Last week was Screen Free Week and we took the challenge, turning of all tv and movie viewing in our home. Normally my kids start begging, whining and pleading for television when they are bored. TV postpones the boredom until the show is over, but then the boredom sets in again and so does the begging, whining and pleading. Last week, I pushed my kids back to playing rather than watching -- and the boredom (and subsequent whining) was usually taken care of. In fact, that boredom led to some exciting pursuits. Here is a bit of what happened.

Okay, there was still some normal crying and sadness.

But then there was motorcycle building...

And the making of cat headbands

(followed by the rescue of a certain "cat" from a tree by a little firefighter)...

There were also tea parties...

And secret clubs...

Not to mention a lot of dressing up.

I have to say that my kids were happier without the draining of their brains. I think that they got along better and seemed more pleasant overall, but maybe my conclusions are skewed by my view that TV, even educational TV, is never as good as good-old-fashioned play.

Two Kids and a Laundry Basket

2011-04-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

My not so little baby...

Lashes...

Just hanging out

There's the camera...

And what is over here...

Oh.... books!

Perfect spot for reading.

Absorbed.

A good read.

Battling My Stuff

2011-04-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

The beauty of having a guest come to your home is that extra motivation to organize/clean/beautify/simplify your house. I love that. I had a big push of energy right before my Mom came to visit and I was on an organizing high. The night she flew in, I was exhausted, but things are looking better around here.

Lina's closet (she doesn't get to use much of it)

This closet, for example, is much improved. While sorting through it, we tossed everything we could muster up the courage to throw out, set a deadline for items we haven't used in a while, but aren't ready to throw away yet and set a deadline for projects that have been waiting in there for a while (like the Spain Scrapbook).

My goal for this closet (and my entire home actually) is to know what is inside, why we still have it, and to be able to access and use the stuff we need and love. We are making progress.

Sick days...

2011-04-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

This is what sick looks like at our house: footie pajamas, cowboy boots, a scooter for a chair and a dry erase board -- all in the garage. The stomach bug hit last Thursday and just when we hoped we were finished, it hit Katelin last night. I hope I survive round two.

Something to Wake Up For

2011-04-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

This is one happy face I love to see in the morning

Mornings are not my strong point.

My college roommate will attest to that fact. (Jenette, I am so sorry about that snooze button - over and over and over. It is a wonder you didn't move out after one semester).

When I was first married, and still teaching school, my mornings were frantic and hurried. I insisted Trevor wake up and eat breakfast with me before I left at seven in the morning, even though his classes never started until much later. (He often made me my lunch, too.) When things switched and he was the guy dashing off to work each morning, I stayed in bed -- as long as possible. He would quietly tip-toe out of our bedroom each morning, and oh how wonderful it was that Katelin, who was just a baby then, would actually sleep in.

Katelin still sleeps late (if I let her), but for me, sleeping in really isn't an option. Now I relish the mornings when I am awake early enough to enjoy a few moments of quiet. The problem lies in peeling my covers off of my sleep-deprived body, and getting my feet onto the floor before Seth waltzes into my bedroom and steals away any hope of morning solitude. It is my daily struggle. But, there is one thing that helps - having something to wake up for.

Lately that something has been breakfasting on the patio with Trevor. If we do this early enough, I actually have ten minutes of uninterrupted conversation with that guy, and not the tired, late-night, I can barely focus conversation either. For a girl who normally has three adorable, but very demanding little chicks running around her feet - that kind of conversation is something to wake up for. And on the mornings when I have a few extra minutes on my hands, sometimes I even pack a lunch.

When Daddy is away...

2011-03-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

Grandma comes to play!

This has been a full week with birthdays, preschool, a trip to St. Louis for Trevor and other such business, but now my Mom is here and more fun is in full swing. Forgive me if my posts are sporadic for the next few days...

Little Buckaroo Roundup

2011-03-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

For Seth's birthday we headed to the Little Buckaroo Ranch to celebrate cowboy style. Here Seth meets the ranch bunny, Thumper. Oooooooh. Soft.

Feeding the resident goats.

Katelin really got into it.

Lina was thrilled to watch.

Cowgirl Miriam introduces Buck-a-rooster. Such smooth feathers.

The main event was meeting Coco the pony. Seth was thrilled.

Katelin didn't seem to mind either.

Even Lina got on for a minute. She grinned from ear to ear.

The cowpokes at the ranch let us hang out a little longer for a picnic on their property.

Here is the horsey tire swing.

A quick hug for sisters. These two are definitely related.

Overall, a great day at the ranch. See ya next year cowboys...

Hold on Tight

2011-03-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

Holding on Tight

(after Seth's Birthday Picnic)

Three years ago yesterday Seth came into this world weighing a whopping 8 lbs. 15 oz. (which seemed so big, until Lina was born), but the little guy wasn't fat. Not a single roll on his body then - and not one since. He came fast. One moment I was in labor, and then -- well there was a doctor and some nurses and pushing and then Seth, with one eye cemented shut.

All of a sudden the doctors and nurses were gone, delivering other babies. When I called for a nurse to get me a washcloth to clean and open his eye, they were busy, and would come later, and didn't want me to do it myself. All I wanted in the whole world at that moment was to look into his eyes.

Both of his eyes.

Instead I stared into one, and when the nurse finally came - it was magic.

***

Today I organized Lina's changing table, weeding out clothes, burp cloths and blankets. That is where I found the size 3 month onesies we've been stuffing her ever-growing body into for the past 10 months. They are worn, stained, faded, and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d, but I love them. I love the baby who wore them the week she came home from the hospital and the almost-toddler who squished into them just last week.

***

Tomorrow, Seth will start preschool. I'm not ready, but his teachers are going to work with him on his speech, so it seems like a good idea. A friend of mine will watch the girls, so Seth and I will drive to the school sans sisters. I will pull him from his carseat, backpack in hand, and while we cross the street we will sing our favorite safety song...

"Hold on tight, off we go. Hold on tight, don't let go. We gotta walk, walk, walk, together. Stay, stay, stay together."

When we arrive on the other side and greet his teachers it will be time. I will squeeze him tight., and though everything inside of me is yelling to hold on tighter, I will let him go.

But only for a couple of hours.

Birthday

2011-03-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

Today we are celebrating Seth's three years... How I love that little boy.

The Power of Space

2011-03-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

Playing in Logan Canyon, Summer 2010

I spent my childhood exploring and discovering. Living on a small street just outside of Preston, Idaho (population 3710 at the time) had many benefits -- the greatest may have been the space. We had the space of a big yard -- for softball games, jumping in piles of maple leaves, and playing hide and go seek. The space of our neighborhood -- picnicking along the side of the road, wading through the tiny stream down the street, and exploring the swamp on the hill behind our house. In the winter we had the space to build igloos in the back yard, go sledding on the big hill and snowmobile in the field next to our house (sometimes with a sled attached behind). And my parents knew how to give us space too. We had room to discover and learn and grow.

I try to give my kids that kind of space. We don't have the physical space I had as a child, but I work hard giving them the opportunity to feel the joy of exploration, the excitement of discovery, the power of learning, and the pride of growth.

There is power and opportunity when we put space into our lives. When our homes our stuffed with things, we spend our time taking care of that stuff, our money buying all of the stuff, and our energy worrying about it. When we create a little space in our homes we have more time, more money and more energy (not to mention a little room for the stuff we really do need).

When our schedules are full we spend our time and energy running from place to place. When we create space we have time for rest and rejuvenation, energy for the people and projects that energize us, and quiet to stop and listen and reflect.

We can put space into our routines -- giving us time to look at the sunset, space into our work day - allowing a few minutes to just breathe, and space in our hearts -- giving us the opportunity to explore, discover, and to love life anew.

Just Because

2011-03-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

Three new teeth in two weeks. Two more pushing through. She is still smiling, unless it is the middle of the night. Between teething and the Spring Forward thing, we are all dragging a little bit here. I'm hoping for some earlier bedtimes and a little less sleeping in.

Useful or beautiful?

2011-03-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

A cowboy for Seth (made lovingly by Katelin)

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful?"

-William Morris, 1834-1896

After Saturday's battle with the box of kids crafts and school projects, I walked away. The box went back into the closet, and I went on with my day.

When I opened it again Monday morning I asked myself two simple questions - Is it useful? Is it beautiful?

I knew the answer. I dumped the guilt, but kept the projects -- sorting and filing them to make them accessible. My kids have been engulfed in them for the last two days.

And while they were busy, I began another battle with my closet... I am slowly making progress.

Why is it so hard?

2011-03-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

To save or to toss? Why is it so hard to decide sometimes?

I'm in the middle of sorting again, looking through a box full of projects and crafts I had planned to do with the kids. I haven't touched it since last summer. What do I do with it? Will I really use it if I keep it?

On the one hand I feel hopeful that I will figure out how to fit the activities into our daily schedule. What a good way to spend time with my kids, right? On the other hand, just looking at it I feel sad. Disappointed. Even a little bit guilty. I had such high hopes last fall to spend more time doing this kind of stuff with Katelin and Seth, and I feel remorse that I've had this stuff all along and we haven't been pulling it out -- utilizing the activities as an opportunity to be together. I'm torn. The box represents my best intentions to sit down, teach my kids and spend time with them.

But....

If I do let it go, maybe I'll be free of the guilt. Free of the weight and the quiet suspicion that I am not doing enough... that I am not enough.

I know deep down that I am enough... without the boxes, without the projects. So why is it so hard to let it all go?

Give me a good day...

2011-03-10T08:54:00.001-08:00

On the best days, I have time to enjoy this gummy little grin.

I don't deal well with busy days.

Do you know someone who is always going? Always moving? Always thinking of the next thing on their jam-packed calendar? They move from thing to thing smoothly, taking in every minute and enjoying it.

I am not that person. Give me a day of running, moving, and fitting one more thing in and I am a mess. No focus. No fun. Just a bad mood.

Instead, give me a day that isn't too full, but not too empty either. Give me a morning where instead of hurrying my kids, we can stop and talk about the bug that isn't a fly, but isn't a butterfly either. Give me an afternoon where I can take time to work on a project while my kids make a huge mess with play dough in the kitchen. And an evening with enough time to clean up that mess and throw a simple meal on the table in time to eat together.

That is a day that makes me happy. That is what I work for.

Bests and Worsts

2011-03-09T10:35:00.000-08:00

Do you have a best/worst organization spot in your house? Here are mine.

Best - at least the most functional

The entry way.

Why it works: hooks for kids coats and jackets, place for shoes, a spot to put everything before we go inside the house. It works because it has a purpose.

Worst

Why this doesn't work: No clear purpose here. This is the catch all spot. It has household supplies, cleaning supplies, old fabric, old crafts, gifts, wrapping paper, gift bags, kids craft projects, preschool supplies, old clothes and more.

Cleaning out this closet won't help unless I change some habits.

***
Wanna share your best/worst places? You can post them here.

***

I'm also wondering if any of you took some think time this week? I did. I'm going to make it a weekly habit.

Anniversary Weekend Part 2 - Scary Closet Edition

2011-03-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

The next part of our anniversary weekend started in this closet. We sorted through old memories -- remnants of another life. Rather than look through EVERYTHING, we got rid of the easy stuff, organized the rest, and made a list of projects --projects with deadlines. Projects like the scrapbook I've been meaning to put together for the last eleven years.

I have been carrying the supplies for this scrapbook since I returned from studying abroad in Spain when I was twenty. Every time I clean out, I put the supplies aside under the delusion that some day I will put the scrapbook together. That intended project has been weighing me down for more than a decade. Do you think when I put it aside I have any real intention of completing that scrapbook?

I know the answer, and yet I have a hard time knowing what to do with the stuff. My trip to Spain was life-changing. I want to remember it. How can I throw out those pictures, train tickets, and mementos?

A true minimalist might toss them, but me... well, it will go on the list. I have two months to finish. If this really matters to me, I will do it. If not, it is time to let the project go -- even if I don't toss all of the pictures.

The list helped Trevor and I move through the scary closet, Trevor's office and the garage. When all was finished we had a few bags of trash and a Jeep full of items to donate. By the time our babysitters arrived that night (so we could go out and celebrate our anniversary) we were exhausted --- exhausted, with clean closets.

Anniversary Weekend: Bowling Edition

2011-03-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just have to go and roll a bowling ball down the road.

Seven years. That is the amount of time that has passed since I married this guy (see above picture). Okay, actually it has been seven years and one day. I'll save telling you all the reasons why it's been a wonderful seven years for another time. Instead I'll tell you a little story.

When Trevor and I were dating/engaged/newly married, he told me that if life ever got boring we just needed to go and roll a bowling ball down the road. It has become our way of saying it is time to mix things up and approach life a little bit differently.

So to kick off our anniversary weekend we loaded up the kids and a bowling ball (thank you Salvation Army) and found a deserted parking lot. Then we rolled.... and laughed and rolled some more. After a while we scrounged some old drink bottles and set up pins, too. Do you know how difficult it is to bowl on pavement?

Anyway, at the end of the night, we snapped pictures, shared a Twix and walked home smiling, laughing and feeling a little lighter. A good beginning to a good weekend...

Life is Pretty Good

2011-03-03T19:27:00.000-08:00

Today I was scattered. I found myself this morning doing about seven things at once. I tell myself I'm a good multi-tasker, but honestly - I was trying to get myself ready for the day, and get Katelin to preschool, and convince Seth to change out of his pajamas, and pack a lunch, and keep Lina from screaming. I found that I wasn't doing any of those things very well. I started combing my hair at 8:00am, but finished it about 4:15pm. Seth wore his pajamas to Katelin's preschool. Lina screamed until we left, and somehow we were able to get Katelin to school.

The rest of the day continued in like manner. I would start one thing, then get distracted with something else -- feeling pulled in too many directions.

In the late afternoon, when Lina was finally napping for a few minutes, I focused. I finished combing my hair. I cleaned up the random objects lying around the house. I figured out dinner and for the first time all day, things were in order.

I was able to actually focus on the project I'd been meaning to start all day. A few minutes in I noticed the kids were a little too quiet. When this happens, investigation is a must. Often I'll find new pictures colored on the wall or paint spilled in the garage. Today, that wasn't the case. Instead I found Seth leaning on Katelin's shoulder as she read The Frog Prince. In the moment, I was reminded that life is pretty good.

My Little Rule

2011-03-02T13:28:00.000-08:00

I have a little rule about what lives at my house. I don't always follow it, but it helps when I start to clean out:

If I don't love something, if it doesn't make me happy, if it frustrates or irritates me when I look at it, then it won't be staying here.

This helps me when the stuff starts to accumulate. Yesterday I went through one shelf of my closet and donated nine shirts. I actually really loved one of these shirts. It is green. It is cute. But every time I put it on, the buttons on the sleeves are difficult, and I start worrying that it makes my arms look like sausages. Then I'm not even sure if I want to wear it at all. All of that negative energy just from one shirt. I don't need that cute shirt or the negative energy it brings -- so I wished it well in it's future endeavors and put it in the box to go to Salvation Army.

I'd like to apply this rule to other areas of my life, because if something in my life (be it a thought, a worry, a commitment, an obligation, or even a relationship) doesn't make me happy, if it frustrates or irritates me, then it's time to get it out of my life. Yet, somehow, that rule can't always work.

For example, I'd like to send grocery shopping on it's way. It has been known to frustrate me in the past, and I'm not sure it brings me great happiness, but it has to be done. What I can do, is simplify the chore, make it more bearable -- maybe even enjoyable. I can't get rid of it, but I can get rid of the frustration and the negative feelings about it. After all, without that grocery shopping, I could not have eaten that delicious red pepper I ate for dinner tonight. So that is what I'm attempting to do -- To simplify the parts of my life that are essential. To maximize on the parts of my life that bring real happiness. And to eliminate the stuff that just doesn't matter.

If I can do that on even a small level, I think I can call this little experiment a success.

Step One: Think Time

2011-03-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

Simplifying seems like it should be, well --- simple.

I can attest to the fact that it most definitely is not. My life needs to be simplified in so many ways that I am sometimes overwhelmed by it all. However, knowing that it has taken me a lot of years to complicate my life to this point, I am giving myself permission to start small, to move slowly and to celebrate the small triumphs I make.

One of those little triumphs came a couple of weeks ago, when I was able to sit down and identify the things that really matter the most to me. Inspired by the book, Simplify Your Life, I decided to give myself some time to think. Early on a Sunday morning, I headed out the door, armed with a pen, a notebook, scriptures and a copy of one of my favorite talks, Of Things That Matter Most. Within an hour I had identified the things that matter to me, and several ways I could work to prioritize those areas.

Yet, what I learned is not nearly as important as how I learned -- by slowing down. It is amazing what you discover when you turn down the volume of your life and take one hour to listen and to feel. Inspiration comes. The answers to challenges come. The question is, how often do we give ourselves those uninterrupted moments?

So here is the challenge - take one hour this week to just think. You need to be free of distractions - no kids, cell phones, computers, work tasks, or any other type of interruptions. One hour with nothing to do but consider your life. You will be amazed at what happens.

Change

2011-02-28T19:17:00.000-08:00

It is time for change.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to a parenting class. The teacher, a man with ADHD, remembered his experiences in elementary school -- unable to pay attention as he sat in a desk looking longingly out the window. He said he couldn't do it; he just knew "there was life out there."

I could imagine that boy longing to be outside - running, laughing, and playing- and in a way, I can relate to him. Sometimes I get so busy with the business of life, I forget to live it. I know there is life out there beyond the doctors appointments and piles of laundry. I also know that while laundry and appointments are important, that isn't what really matters.

It isn't to say I don't have a good life. I have so much.

Sooooooooo much.

I just long for more of the experiences that should be my own - more afternoons laughing with my kids, more quiet moments to ponder and reflect, more nights sitting on the patio with Trevor... more of my life.

I don't want to feel like life is passing me by and I am missing out on some of those moments.

So, in attempt to capture those moments, I'm going to simplify. It might get crazy. It might get ugly. It might even get painful, but I am committed. I've been working at this for a while now, but haven't ever really gotten past the first round of decluttering. This time I am in for the long haul. I have my white board. Trevor is on board. And I am ready.

If you'd like to follow me on this journey, I would be honored. I think it's going to be a bumpy, but worthwhile ride.

Makeover edition

2011-02-27T20:10:00.000-08:00

If you've checked my blog at all over the past couple of weeks you might have noticed no new posts, but lots of new looks. I've been going through blog backgrounds as quickly as my kids go through dress-up clothes. I'm trying out new "clothes" for my blog, because "musings" needs a makeover... a big makeover.

The things is, I'm tired of musing; I'm ready for doing. So I'm laying my musings to rest in search of something a little better. A little more. And starting this week, you can join me on this same blog, but with a new name, a new look, and a new purpose.

It'll be almost as good as a haircut and a new outfit.

Are you excited?

I am.

Photo dump...

2011-02-14T12:20:00.000-08:00

Today is all pictures, but later this week, I will write... Here are the highlights from Valentine's Weekend (the lows will remain undocumented).

Katelin and I assembled these Valentine butterflies for her preschool class last week (inspired by these). The bright colors make me happy!!!

The loot and my 5-year-old Valentine.

Seth posing with a long-horn on our "safari." It was awesome!

Lina loved it too!

Katelin finally gets brave enough to feed the goats!!

My Valentine baby after church yesterday. She wins me every time she bats those eyelashes!!

One tired little boy, but he agreed to be my Valentine, too.

Valentine's breakfast this morning - pink heart shaped pancakes.

A great weekend and a good Monday, so far. Here's hoping for a happy week.

Happy Birthday...

2011-02-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

My birthday was over a month ago, but this cake needs to be shared with the world.

The thing about becoming a grown-up is that you often have to make or buy your own birthday cake. This year, Katelin mixed and decorated my birthday cake all by herself (I helped her get it into the oven). It was a castle theme. What do you think? It tasted pretty good, too.

Making a Little Space Here

2011-02-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

The summer after I married Trevor, we planned a trip to Mexico. Trevor would study Spanish, putting him a few credits closer to finishing his International Studies degree. I would tag along, practicing Spanish and auditing a Mexican culture class to use in teaching my 6th grade Spanish class.

We packed light and set up our temporary home in what must have been 200-square foot studio apartment. In that apartment our belongings were limited to two place settings of plastic dishes, two sets of silverware, a frying pan, a spatula, a stirring spoon, a knife, a set of sheets, a fan and a weeks worth of clothes, and the odds and ends we needed for school.

From the roof of our apartment we could see and hear Las Olas Altas, the nearby beach. We were within walking distance of the market, the library, and a little park. We had access to restaurants and the bus. We spent our mornings at the school, our afternoons napping and going to the beach, and our weekends travelling via bus, scooter, and slug bug.

Fast forward six and a half years to today. I'm looking at the piles of toys and books and clutter littering my living room floor and longing for that summer, for that time when we owned nothing, but had everything. I'm reminded that "stuff" doesn't bring happiness. Living your life is what actually makes life rich - so I'm clearing out in an attempt to make more room for quiet, for laughter and for happiness in general.

A little bit of progress...

2011-02-02T12:14:00.002-08:00

It is February. Ground Hog's Day actually. Here is a summary of the happenings at our house -

Lina's got a new little tooth and she isn't too happy about it... can one tooth really hurt that bad.
Trevor is stranded in Illinois, thanks to the monster blizzard pelting the midwest.
I started cleaning out my hall closet last night. I realized halfway through this project is going to require some soul searching, so I now have piles of boxes and bags shoved in the corner of my living room...
I'm not sure I'm ready to tackle all of that stuff in the corner, so maybe I'll procrastinate it a little bit longer and go take a short nap.
Life is feeling a little bit slower, even a little bit simpler.

It's true. Since I started using my white board I've been staying on top of things a bit better. I can't tell you how this little tool has changed things for us - the kids are fighting a little less, going to bed with less resistance, smiling and laughing more... so are we. I can find my kitchen counter. The paper isn't piling up quite as readily. Most of all, I don't wake up feeling rushed. I know what has to get done, and what can be ignored, so I feel free to put off the unimportant and focus on the things I love - my kids, my husband, projects, reading...

For the first time since Lina was born, I feel like I might have a little bit of - gasp - free time, which leaves me pondering what important stuff I should be doing with my life. I'm not looking for another commitment, just relishing the fact that I can do a little more of what I want to do and have the chance to rediscover what exactly that might be.

Jammy Day

2011-01-27T13:12:00.000-08:00

If you were to look at my laundry today you might wonder why there weren't any clothes for this child to be seen...

And the answer would be because he has been wearing these jammies almost constantly for the past three weeks. Each morning he wakes up and tells me it is "jammy day." We did have a break-through this morning when he got dressed and let me wash the pajamas for the first time this week. I'll take whatever I can get.

Efficiency

2011-01-26T12:14:00.001-08:00

Katelin has been conserving her words lately. For example, you might ask something like...

"Katelin have you seen Lina's binky?" And in response you would see this sign.

Followed by this sign, because she really means it.

And she's been combing her hair, too.

She is quite a girl.... I'm serious.

One secret to happiness

2011-01-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

One of the things I look forward to most each day is quiet time... the hour (or more) I usually have in the afternoon free from chores and kids and whining and everything. I work hard to get the kids and the house quiet so I can take a nap, or blog, or work on a project. It doesn't always work. Like today, when Lina slept for about 45 minutes, and Seth didn't sleep at all. But then sometimes, it does...

Here are a few things that make it work for me

Waking Lina up early.... sounds funny, but if she wakes up late, then she takes a late morning nap and when Seth is ready for his nap, she is wide-eyed.
Giving Seth something to do in his room, in case he can't sleep. If I plant a favorite book or puzzle chances are, he might find it if he doesn't fall right to sleep.
Books on cd. This is the one thing (besides TV) that keeps Katelin occupied for long periods of time. Seth loves listening to them when he is going to sleep. Our library has a good collection.
The timer. This is my best tool as a Mom because it helps little kids know there is a time limit. They don't always understand time. So sometimes I set the timer for 30 minutes or an hour even and tell them they can come out of their room, or come and wake me up when the timer is over. If they are new to the timer, start small, with a 10 minute increment followed by a little reward (a treat or a tv show).
Projects. Katelin is a sucker for a craft project at the kitchen table. It has to be something that takes a few minutes, but isn't too hard. One time she cut out and pasted all of the numbers 1-100 in order. It took her the entire afternoon, but she was so proud when she finished.
When all else fails, tv usually works. We fall back on playhouse disney (online -- which is free and the shows are age appropriate) and netflix. Lina doesn't watch, but at least the other two do.

And if you need more ideas check out Mommy's Nap Time 101, with more great ideas. I'm not this disciplined about napping, but a few minutes of down time is a necessity for me.

What are you doing RIGHT NOW?

2011-01-24T12:11:00.000-08:00

Since you are all dying to know what we are doing right at this minute (2:26 on a Monday afternoon), I thought I would tell you. We're all having a little Kix fix (except for Seth, who is luckier because he is getting a nap!) Here's how you might get this sort of fix...

Up on all fours...

Steady does it...

That's it, we have lift off!

Rev your engines, vroom, vroom.

And another attempt.

If you work at it long enough, your sister might give you a little reward.

Kix. Yummy!

And if you thought allowing your child to eat Kix off of the floor was bad, I won't mention the crayon she found earlier or the marker she sucked on for a few minutes yesterday. And you probably don't want to hear about the blue spit-up that came after she sucked on the marker either. Turns out a Kix fix, from the floor, is much better than a marker fix.

Too bad she won't nap, because the napping fix is what I am longing for the most.

And Christina, I know you asked, so I promise, sometime this week I'll share my quiet time secrets (because you've got to have quiet time if you are going to survive motherhood, in my opinion). But I can't tell you my secrets now, because I'm hoping to use them soon. Happy Monday.

One Month

2011-01-19T15:05:00.000-08:00

One month ago, my baby brother got married..

to this girl. I like her. She is a Texan.

Lina celebrated big with cousin Brittany

My mom threw the whole party and still looked beautiful!

My dad threw the party and still had time for Lina. He looks pretty sharp too.

After all the festivities in Idaho were finished. Lina and I flew home for Christmas and some family time and one week later we found ourselves celebrating again... in Texas.

Even Katelin and Seth got dressed up for the occassion.

In fact, we brought the whole family to the second reception.
I think the hosts might have regretted inviting us?

My mom was a bit more relaxed this time around!

By this point, Lance and Kristen had been married for a whole week.
They look a bit more relaxed too!

Happy One Month Anniversary you two! We think you are both great.

My Little Darth Vader

2011-01-19T12:53:00.000-08:00

We're praying for health and strength around here

We're sick. And by we, I mean Seth. And before that it was Katelin, and before that Lina, and before that Seth and before that Lina. It all started before Christmas, and you know, I'm ready to be healthy. At least through all of it Trevor and I have been functional at least, maybe sleep-deprived, headachy, weak and even runny-nosed, but still functional.

Early yesterday Seth woke up gasping for air. He has a tendency to get croupy and tight with every cold or virus, but yesterday was scary. We tried holding him in the steamy bathroom and then, as per the phone nurse's advice, Trevor loaded him up and headed to the ER. Gulp. We're in the midst of switching to new insurance. And right now we are on COBRA, but if we don't use the cobra, we won't have to pay the $1100+ premium. Double gulp.

So Trevor got to the ER and by then Seth was sleeping, still breathing very loudly with a whistle, but not gasping. So they sat in the ER parking lot, waiting to see if his breathing would improve. Thirty minutes went by. Seth quieted, then woke up, and then he just sounded like Darth Vader, which was a big improvement. So they did what anyone would do - went out for breakfast. Seth ate a piece of sausage and apple juice, then they came home.

Since we'd seen the pediatrician the day before, I called and explained what happened. Stridor, they call it, when your airway closes off making it difficult to get air. Dr. B called in steroids to open that little airway and prevent another episode and then we had a new problem on our hands. A two-year old shot up on steroids. I'll take that over the kid gasping for air any day.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2011-01-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

If I was the sort of person who kept up and actually sent Christmas cards, maybe you'd have gotten this in your mailbox this Christmas. The funny thing about pictures like this is that they never tell the whole story. They don't tell how complicated it is to find somewhat matching clothes for the whole family to wear for a picture (or in this case, a wedding) or how you had to bribe and distract a certain two-year old to convince him to put that suit on (he was not having it), or how you bought tights for the baby to wear just for this occasion only you left them home, right next to the door. You don't even see the moment before or after...

You don't hear "Katelin, come over... sit right here," or "Um, push this button...and make sure the flash is on."

You don't see the twelve-year old boy making faces at Lina or the classic, "Say cheese."

You just get one little moment. It says a lot, but not everything.

In the Eye of the Storm

2011-01-12T12:36:00.000-08:00

Pictures really don't do her justice.

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent themountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire, a still small voice.

1 Kings 19: 11-12

The feeling sneaks up on me sometime before Seth yells from his bedroom "I peeped in my bed," but after Katelin has emptied the entire contents of her preschool bag on the floor (lunchbag, uneaten grapes and carrots, a snowman puppet, extra change of clothes and a prize pinwheel).

I'm scooping carrot-cake batter, mixed by Katelin in anticipation of Lina's pretend first birthday party, into cupcake tins, while Katelin chops real carrots with a butter knife to throw into the cupcakes (her creative side coming out?) Pandora is playing what we call around "quiet" music, an instrumental rendition of a Garth Brook's song - The Dance. Though I can't hear them, the lyrics float through my mind - Looking back, on the memory of, the dance whe shared beneath the stars above.

For a moment I step back to observe the dance that is my life -beyond the toys scattered across the living room floor, the unfolded laundry in the dryer, the sleeping baby who refuses to take her pacifier, the imminent phone call from Trevor telling me he'll be later than usual, and something about the dance feels just right. I love this dance - with all of it's doctor's appointments, and sticky fingers, and bubbles filling up the bathroom sink. I love the five year old cutting carrots - happily planning a birthday party. I love the two year tucked up in his nap and the baby swaddled in the back room. I love the husband who will call to let me know when he is late and I even love the girl who is scooping cupcakes.

The moment fills me up, and though the night will bring a frantic dinner, and whiny kids begging to stay up longer, and a baby who still won't take that pacifier at bedtime, it will be enough to remember what it feels like sometimes when you are pouring cupcake batter.

More about how I want to simplify my life

2011-01-10T11:22:00.000-08:00

Isn't life a little better when you slow down and laugh?

Katelin laughing with her cousin Dallin.

I have never really believed in New Year's Resolutions. My personal resolution is too weak or forgetful or something to really make just one goal for an entire year. But I do believe that people can change, that maybe even I can change.

So, last week I bought a white board. After weddings and trips home and Christmas celebrations it was time to get going on the long list of action items that have been plaguing our family for the last month.

Everything we have to do goes on that board in one of four sections (essential, necessary, nice and today), and each day I choose 3-4 items that I can realistically accomplish in one day. Trevor is doing it with me.

The truth is, in the midst of taking care of three kids, I can't really do all that much. But at the end of each day, I erase a few items, I acknowledge that I've fed my family three meals (usually with help from Trevor), I've kept the house from exploding, I've laughed with my kids, and after remembering all of that, I relax. I don't have to worry about the twenty other things that are still on that list.

There is a nice middle-ground somewhere out there where you are both content with yourself but also working towards improvement. I'm looking for that middle ground, and in searching I'm going to give New Year's Resolutions another chance.

Because I really really want to change. I want my life to feel slower, simpler. I'm going to start with my white board. I'll work on it this month and by the end of January, who knows, maybe my life will feel a little bit slower.

Do you believe in New Year's Resolutions?

2011-01-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

What do you think about my new blog look? I'm toying around with some changes to be happening here. And I'm ready to jump back into blogging, though I might not be consistent. A girl needs a nap sometimes.

I have a lot of thoughts to share regarding the new year and resolutions. In the meantime you should check out this video. The guy who says he believes resolutions are kind of sham was Katelin's Sunbeam teacher. His wife, her other sunbeam teacher, is also in the movie. She has long brown hair and asks if Lot's wife left him. Anyway, for the first six months of primary, Katelin cried every time she went to Sunbeams because she was scared of Brother Abernathy. When he moved, she liked going to primary. He really is a nice guy, and a talented musician. You can listen to his music here. But for now, check out the movie. I love it.!

Quiet time...

2010-12-13T12:15:00.000-08:00

Busy at Work

Lately I have traded in blogging for napping. I miss blogging, but oh do I love taking a few minutes to rest each day. I'm going to try to find a way to work blogging back in to the routine, but if you don't find me musing much, just know that I'm well rested.

Today I'm missing my little rest. Lina took a long morning nap and isn't sleepy. Katelin and Seth are deeply engaged playing in their respective "huts" made of tables, blankets, and couch cushions. I can't really bear to disrupt them for quiet time, so hopefully I can get a rest a little bit later. For now, I'll put a little update on the blog and listen to them giggling, shuffling around, and caring for their stuffed animals and dolls. Here's hoping your afternoon is filled with such happy sounds.

Conversations

2010-11-30T18:56:00.001-08:00

Katelin had blood drawn today. To say she was scared would be an understatement. She is a worried child and the anticipation of that blood draw was enormous. Thankfully, she only knew about it for about thirty minutes beforehand. She survived (thanks to some very adept nurses) and as we always do after a "poke", we visited Krispy Kreme.

On the way home, the conversation went something like this.

Seth starts, "I see a do-nut store." Note that while I clearly understood that is what he said, very few other people would have caught that.

I reply, "Really?" Note: no do-nut stores in sight.

A few minutes later, Seth says excitedly, "Mom, I see a popcorn store."

"Really? Wow, you must have really good eyes."

Katelin chimes in, "I have really great eyes. I can see clear to Oklahoma."

Seth, not to be outdone, replies, "Me don't like Oklahoma."A typical reaction for Seth to anything or anyone new or unknown.

***

Later today Seth was playing with scotch tape (who needs toys anyway). Katelin found a leftover piece and placed it carefully over Seth's mouth, then in all seriousness said, "Seth, now you can't talk for a million years."

****

Seriously, where do they get this stuff?

My Amazing Body

2010-11-29T12:58:00.000-08:00

The kids looking at an acorn

At the end of some days, I look around and wonder if I have accomplished anything. These are frustrating moments. Moments that make you feel like all you are doing is spinning your wheels.

Today is not one of those days. I just spent a few minutes lying down in my room, resting and noticing for the first time all day that my feet are tired. It is no wonder. I woke early, took care of Lina, showered, went to the dentist, returned home just in time to send Trevor off to work, clean up breakfast, start laundry and get kids ready for the day. That was all before 10am.

Then we headed to play group, visited with friends, shopped a little, ate some lunch (a picnic on the grass in the Target parking lot) and finally picked up prescriptions and came home just in time for quiet time.

I am amazed at what I am capable of... what my body is capable of.

I can read, nurse a baby, comfort a toddler, and enjoy the morning breeze. I can drive, run, pay bills online, and enjoy the happy noises Katelin makes while drawing. I can rest and eat and breathe. My body is good to me. On the days when I am frustrated, I have to slow down and be grateful for all I can do, even if it is just picking up toys and dirty clothes.

Getting ready...

2010-11-24T15:01:00.000-08:00

Seth Practices for the big day

Ready for the big feast!

Inspired by this blog, I decided to teach the kids how to set the table for Thanksgiving. I pulled out some leftover fabric to create a tablecloth, place mats, and napkins (using pinking shears this took just a few minutes). Then we drew a plate, silverware, and a glass on one of the place mats as a way to practice. I've been wanting to do this with the kids all week, and finally did it. They are at an age where they love this stuff, and today's Thanksgiving feast (fishy crackers) was good practice for tomorrow. I feel very thankful this year for two kids who love to learn and play, a baby who smiles and cuddles and loves us, a husband who dreams with me, and for my Heavenly Father who is always mindful. Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving day. My life is sooooo good and I need to stop and count my blessings a bit more often. Here is my favorite Thanksgiving video; I know it is a year old, but I never get tired of it.

It's the little things

2010-11-18T20:05:00.000-08:00

Isn't life a little bit better when you can wear a chef hat? We've broken ours out in preparation for next week's festivities!

Last night after dinner I had a few moments of peace. Katelin and Seth were learning uplifting stuff as they played games on the scriptures4kids website (here). Lina was sitting in her high chair banging toys and putting them in her mouth. I washed pans, wiped counters and swept crumbs. Then one of my favorite songs started playing on Pandora radio, sweet and sincere, it reminded to stop and be thankful. I looked from Lina to Seth to Katelin and felt that surge of gratitude for all of the happy chaos that comes with being the mother of these three wonderful kids.

Thanksgiving Past

2010-11-17T13:22:00.001-08:00

I found these pictures taken two years ago, on or around Thanksgiving. These memories feel like they happened two lifetimes ago... but then, they feel like only yesterday, too.

When did Seth stop eating every pencil, penny and marble left on the floor?

When did Katelin start writing me notes and letters instead of just scribbling?

In spite of all the changing and growing our family has gone through the past few years, one thing is the same every Thanksgiving. Family. Food. Pie. I'm grateful for the tradition.

And just in case you were wondering, I got a little bit more sleep last night, five straight hours plus a little bonus. I don't think Trevor was so lucky as he helped a certain five-year old who couldn't sleep in the wee hours. In light of a better night's rest, today has been much more manageable.

It's time...

2010-11-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

Just because I love this picture....

I'm tired. Very very tired. Lately, Katelin and Seth and Lina take turns waking Trevor and I throughout the night. We rarely get three hours without an interruption. I laugh sometimes about the pennies scattered across the floor, the water flooding the bathroom, the crayon all over the walls, the couch cushion obstacle courses, and so forth, but lately, I have no patience. I'm tired. Exhausted. Beat. When I don't sleep, I just don't function.

I'm not only inpatient with my kids, but inpatient with myself. I want to be able to change things, fix things. I like to be in control. So when it takes time and effort and energy to work on improving sleep habits, finding a better schedule, or being able to manage all the things I have to do each day, I get frustrated. I want things better now, but change and improvement take time. I have to be patient with myself and remember I can't control everything, but I can control myself.

I've known I need to work on our sleep schedule for some time, but have been too tired to even start. I can't procrastinate this any longer. I have to start small. Step one is to go to bed early, and at the same time, every night. I will worry about improving the kids sleep habits and setting a consistent wake time and all of that later, but for now, for the next week I think I can commit to lying in my bed ready to sleep each night by 10:30 p.m.

Starting is the hardest part, right? I hope. Please...

Seth's Little Tricks

2010-11-15T13:15:00.000-08:00

One of the first things we did when we moved into our apartment was to turn around the lock on Katelin's and Seth's bedroom doorknob. The thing we did next was to stash a small screwdriver in the room so we could get out of the bedroom if, for some reason, we ever got locked in.

This morning, it's about ten o'clock and I am still running around in my pajamas. There are couch cushions and kitchen chairs spread out from the dining room to the living room (as an obstacle coarse). Cereal and milk and dishes are on the table. Lina has napped, but she woke early and so she is "playing" in her crib. I'm feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and kind of alone.

In the middle of the this Katelin makes a request, "Mom, could we get down some rice or beans to pour or play with?" Of course, I am imagining the obstacle course now covered in rice and beans and make a decision.

"Sorry, Katelin. Not until we clean this place up a little bit."

"Mom, you've got to clean this up. I'm not helping!" Katelin scolds me. I am cleaning it up so I ignore her.

"Mom if you don't clean this up, you're not going to be my Mom anymore." I don't respond.

Katelin sets the timer. Two minutes go by and the house is still not cleaned up. Katelin starts packing. "What are you doing, I ask?"

"I'm going away." She responds.

"Where?"

"I'm just going away." I have to admit that I am slightly amused. I wait a few minutes, then approach her.

"Katelin, you're not going anywhere," I say, pulling her close to me. She scowls hard.

And that is when Seth comes into the room. Galloping and smiling he starts playing with the doorknob and the lock, and before I can stop him, the door is shut. "Me locked door," Seth reports. I glance above the door to grab the screwdriver, only there is one problem. No screwdriver. I try the knob and then hit the door.

"Seth! We're locked in." Katelin has forgotten about her plan to leave and now she is on the bed crying.

I quickly see the solution, breaking through the screen, climbing out of the window and praying that one of our outside doors is unlocked. I try the patio door first, but no luck. It is dead-bolted shut, but then I see some hope through the window. Both locks on the front door are open. Trevor left them unlocked this morning when he came back home to pick up his computer. When I open the kids' bedroom door, I'm no longer the mean mom, but the hero of the day. I stop and think of how rarely that front door is left open. Someone is watching out for me; I'm really not alone after all.

Born Screaming

2010-11-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

Lina, a few moments after she was born (six months ago)

Lina was born screaming. She was pink and plump and mad. Really mad!

Celebrating Lina's birth the day we brought her home from the hospital

The first weeks after she was born there was more screaming. And six months later, it isn't a whole lot different. There is still screaming. Not fussing or grunting or complaining. Mostly screaming - when her diaper is dirty, or her arm is flailing or she is strapped in her car seat or her stomach hurts. Screaming, screaming, screaming.

And for the mother, well, that is sort of stressful.

After Mom & Lina came home from sacrament meeting, 2 weeks old (I think)

But then there are the other moments. Today Lina had to wait for me a few extra minutes. She sat in her high chair working herself into near-hysterics. After what felt like twenty minutes, but was probably actually two, I pulled her from the high chair and placed her on my hip. I felt her hiccuppy crying slow down as I held her chubby legs against mine. We went to the mirror. Unable to resist her own reflection, she stopped crying long enough to give up a little grin.

I walked her to bedroom and wrapped her tight, pinning her arms down, so she won't roll over and wake up screaming, yet again. I wrapped her a second time, this time in her SwaddleMe to be extra sure, then I placed her on the bed and lay down beside her.

She resisted sleep, spitting out her pacifier and looking back and forth over and over, but with some patience on my part, she began to give in. Her breathing slowed. I felt her small body beside me and kissed curls on her forehead. I couldn't help but stroke her soft cheek and close my eyes as I listened to the ocean waves cd we play in her room during naps. Then I stared in awe at this little person - her plump cheeks and perfect little nose, her long lashes and dark brows, her lips, still sucking, even though the pacifier has fallen out of her mouth. Still so new and perfect, but growing and changing and becoming. Yes, she screams... but she also smiles and observes and rolls and eats and changes every day.

A Good Day

2010-11-11T12:27:00.000-08:00

A little bit of fun goes a long way...

Today has been a pretty good day. We've had a good mix of work and fun and everyone is content. I've been thinking a little bit about what it is that makes a happy day for us. A happy day usually starts with some sort of progress on working around the house or errands or appointments, just basically running the household. The kids helping always makes this better. A happy day usually involves getting out of the house and exploring a little bit. Katelin and Seth usually get to do something that they want to do (ride bikes or paint or play on the playground) and I get to work on something fun too. We all have some down time (nap time) and when the day is over we've accomplished something, we've worked together, we've rested, we've eaten, and we've laughed and had some fun. The day doesn't have to be perfect. I usually don't accomplish everything I wanted, but if those things are in the mix, the day is usually a winner.

Of course, a baby who naps longer than 45 minutes at a time would also be a welcome addition to a happy day too! Here's hoping for tomorrow.

Bundled Up

2010-11-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

Today I'm going to skip the big post and join this little bundle in dreamland for a few minutes. See you tomorrow.

One step forward

2010-11-09T12:40:00.000-08:00

I started today with a lot of plans. First we put on our baker's hats to make some muffins for breakfast. Fun, right?

Well, we were about to put the muffins into the oven when the whole tin tipped over. Woops. Both kids shed a few tears, until I pulled out another box of their favorite muffins. Phew!

That is pretty much how the whole day has gone... One step forward, two steps back.

Here's another example. I was calling to schedule one of about umpteen doctor's appoitnments I need to schedule before our insurance changes this month when I smelled something, not a pleasant something. I followed my nose to find Seth behind closed doors with a little problem. So while I'm talking to the receptionist, I'm cleaning him up and I can't find the wet wipes because Katelin has stashed them, where else but in her bedroom closet with the toys. Seth, in the meantime is running around the bathroom and decides to wash his hands.

Never mind that we reviewed how to wash our hands just this morning. Never mind that we have actually practiced using just a little bit of water and one drop of soap literally just an hour ago. Never mind that Seth got in trouble just two days ago for dumping the entire bottle of soap into the sink (these are actually the pictures from that day). I guess that the soap and water and bubbles were simply too much to resist.

You are probably grateful that I can't chronicle the rest of the day in pictures because Katelin took photos for an hour and used up the batteries. You won't have to see the 500 pieces of tiny paper confetti Katelin threw all over the living room, dining room and into Lina's exersaucer. You also won't see her vacuuming all of that confetti with the vacuum extension. And thank goodness you won't see pictures of me losing my cool or listen as Seth runs back to his bedroom and says to Katelin, "Mama's mean."

Of course, you also won't see the look of surprise on Seth's face when he found me hiding behind the bed after "seeking" for several minutes, you won't see Katelin playing with her alphabet flash cards forming and spelling new words, and you won't see me lying next to Lina as she drifts off to sleep. I haven't scheduled all of the doctors appointments. I haven't finished the project I was working on for our RS activity. I haven't folded the laundry or even cleaned up the lunch dishes, but the day hasn't been a total wash. Sometimes you just clean up the batter, wipe up the bubbles, vacuum up the confetti and move on with the day as best as you can.

Chores and Sandwiches

2010-11-08T12:52:00.000-08:00

Katelin picks some flowers at Sweet Berry Farm. This girl is usually willing to help out.

Inspired by this blog we have started initiating the chore bucket into our daily routine. Seth is delighted to clean up Lina's toys and rattles off of the floor, but when Katelin is assigned to fold and put away the blankets or stuffed animals, I meet resistance. Katelin does not like to be told what to do. She gets it from her mother. So this morning, when she told me she was NOT interested in clearing the dishes from the table, I knew there was no point in arguing. I told her to sit on the couch until she was ready to help.

A few minutes later a grumbling, but compliant Katelin showed up and helped me put dishes in the dishwasher. This was not what I had anticipated when I made the chore bucket. I was frustrated and wondered - Why won't she just help?

Anyway, the day went by... laundry, errands, an hour at play group and we were back home. I had three hungry kids, and Lina wouldn't wait. As I slipped away to nurse, Katelin, carrying a can of tuna asked, "Could I make tuna sandwiches?"

I quickly opened the can and pulled down the bread. Katelin pulled a chair to the countertop and went to work cutting off crusts, making peanut butter and honey for a brother who today "doesn't like tuna fish", and even cutting sandwiches into triangles.

When I sat down to the table, I was presented with a beautiful tuna sandwich. Seth was already chomping away. Katelin sat down next to me, beaming with pride. I smiled back, proud and grateful, and a bit less worried about the chore bucket.

This and that

2010-11-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

A lot of things are rattling around in my half-awake brain today. Here they are, in no particular order -

Lina doesn't sleep well ever, but the last few nights have been relentless. Between teething and a runny nose and who knows what else, she was awake until almost 2:00am last night. She slept three hours before she was awake and unhappy again. Suggestions anyone??
Trevor left his job at CIEE this week to go to work for another company with an acronym for a name, AMD. We're excited about the change (I'm hoping for a little less travel), but I am not used to sending him to the office to work. The kids are a little upset that he leaves us every morning. He will work from home a couple of days a week once he gets a bit more training and gets settled in at work.
Today is Friday, library day, and we missed story time because of Lina's shenanigans. Katelin is distraught about missing the fun with Miss Debbie today, and I understand. Miss Debbie really is quite fabulous.
This is the weekend that the time changes, which means I should take advantage of this to get into the habit of putting the kids down a bit earlier and waking up earlier... I think this is my goal for November. Gotta work out those details.
I am so glad that the weekend is finally here. How about you?
Okay, now a joke from Seth told me today at lunch

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Applesauce."
"Applesauce who?"
"Applesauce in mine mouth."
And finally, the joke Katelin told at lunch -

"Why did the bride and broom cross the road?"
"So they could get married on the other side.

Okay, that's all for now. Lina is screaming again! That will probably be the story of my weekend.

Faster

2010-11-04T12:09:00.000-07:00

The Faster

Laundry at my house has become easier lately, due to one thing - the faster. At first glance, the faster appears to be a miniature plastic ironing board, but when you turn it over, it can slide across the carpet at lightning quick speeds and then it becomes a different object completely.

Katelin loves putting things away with the faster. At first she helped pick up clutter from the floor, which often meant using the faster was actually slower than just putting things away, but when it comes to laundry, it is pretty efficient. Katelin loves to pile towels or socks or underwear on the faster and swoosh it to where it belongs. Sometimes Seth follows closely behind with his "faster", the laundry basket. I don't know that including the kids in doing the laundry is actually FASTER, but doing it with them is so much more fun.

I find I am happier in general when I can find ways to do things with my kids, rather than just doing things for my kids (usually while they make a huge mess somewhere else). Today we ate lunch together. Most days we do sit down together, but often I prep the food, put kids up to the table, gulp my food down and start cleaning up without even a breath. Today I sat down and talked with my kids. We told knock knock jokes.

"Knock, knock," I ask.

"Who's there?"

"Boo."

"Boo hoo."

"Why are you crying?" Seth laughs too loud. Katelin chuckles.

"Knock knock." I try again.

"Who's there?"

"Ants."

"Ants who?"

"Ants in your pants." Both kids erupt into giggles. The ants in your pants bit always gets them going.

Katelin tries. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" I answer.

"Ants."

"Ants who?"

"Ants in your poopy pants."

Later we tried all of our names and nicknames and uncles' names and grandparents' names in this song....

"Kellie, kellie, bo-belly, banana fana fo felly, me mi mo melly. Kellie."

Needless to say, lunch went a little longer than usual, but afterwards the kids helped (a little) with clearing the table and we moved smoothly to quiet time.

Caring for my kids is a lot of effort, but most of the time, when I actually get down on their level and be with them, I find joy in the effort.

Who is the Sheriff at your house?

2010-11-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

She knows who is in charge...

All decked out

The Sheriff and her deputies

My Pesky To Do List

2010-10-29T11:36:00.001-07:00

Seth Practicing His Cowboy Skills (for Halloween of course)

I have a confession to make. Last night, after blogging about skipping my to do list, I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen and started the laundry. I can't get away from that thing. You see, if I hadn't cleaned and started laundry, then I would have had to deal with it this morning. And this morning I had to visit the doctor's office and the library. So, while I wish I could just abandon the "to do's" and live without them, I will admit, I'm kind of tied to them. It's hard for me to not do the to-do list.

I think maybe the solution is to take a day without to-do's once in a while. Like actually schedule a day to do absolute nothing. So this is my to-do list for the weekend (in no particular order):

1. Carve pumpkins & have a good time with kids

2. Trick or Treat (I mean, let me kids trick or treat)

3. Finish the laundry

4. Schedule a day to do nothing next week

I'd really love to know: How do you get away from the "to do's"?