Missing You!

My former self - Taken sometime in 2004

Sometimes I feel homesick. Not for family or mountains or snow (though I do miss them all at times), but homesick for my former self, the person I was before I was Mom. You know, that gal who taught school, read books, joined writing classes, played the piano, went hiking, and took up mountain biking, and sometimes had the time to just sit and think. It's not that she is gone, but she is busy at the moment, and so some of the things that used to completely define her sit on hold, waiting for the time when they will be useful again.

Here is a list of a few things I miss about her life:

1. Spending hours working on a school project or teaching unit - developing it, studying it, planning it


2. Reading poetry (here is a good one, because poetry is short enough that if I think about it I can still fit it in).


3. Voice lessons - I'm not a solo singer, but I took voice lessons from a crazy kid in college named Nicholas who had hips like a girl. His voice often drowned mine and it was hard to learn when you mostly listened to someone else during lessons. Still, I had fun trying.


4. Playing George Gershwin. Okay, I haven't played much George Gershwin, but I always wanted to sit down and dedicate myself to learning some of my favorites from him. I took piano lessons from a woman named Chiyo Honma who was much more interested in classical music than in Gershwin.


5. Dancing. I specifically remember walking home from a ballroom dance class when I was in college and feeling soooo good. Something about music and moving just brings a lot of joy. Of course, our dancing sessions in the living room are equally rewarding.

The funny thing is that all of those things could probably be incorporated into my life as a mother if I made it happen, but then the today-self has a lot of new interests, and I'm short on free time, so it's a matter of priorities. Besides, I'm pretty sure George Gershwin and his music will still be around in a few years when my children are a bit more independent. And I plan on living a long time.

Got Four Minutes?

Just a little reminder...

Giving Up.

Keeping me busy...

I give up.

I give up on trying to keep food out of the carpet and crumbs out of the bed. I don't mind if you wear your pajamas (or your dress-up clothes or just your underwear) all day long -- even when we go out. Feel free to throw your mush, your milk, your crackers, your utensils, your muffins crumbs, and anything else you'd like to on the floor, the walls, the windows.

I give up on trying to keep my shirt away from constantly runny noses. I won't even hope for seven or eight hours of straight sleep, or a shower that lasts more than three minutes.

I give up on keeping the tub-water in the tub and the pots and pans in the cupboards.

I give up on uninterrupted phone conversations and eating my food while it is warm. I promise that I won't even attempt to leave the house on a whim.

I give up on trying to do things my way, on my schedule.

I give up because I love my kids and because I have to and because it just feels so right to sacrifice a few comforts for something that matters.

Our good friends

Katelin and Andy
Seth with Leo and Jack or is it Jack and Leo?

Talmage, Addie and Katelin

It feels like a long time ago we were in Utah and Idaho enjoying a couple of snowy days. With our perfect spring weather I can't say I am missing home too much. I am missing these cute kids. Mathew and Angie were nice enough to have a set of twins close in age to both of my kids. Her kids definitely have a few more tall genes than ours.

Create

Something about creating something new just makes you feel oh so good.